sien..

sigh...

Why am I always offending people?? THis week two liao...WL and TW...

sien..

Once again, I skipped cell...dunno why...but just am not in the mood in going. I didn't really missed on purpose also...slept at 4pm after I made TW pissed off...then by the time I woke up, it was already 7pm...I feared that I cannot make it in time for the ice-breaker so I asked Jean to help me do...gave her the idea that William gave me.

Sigh..

After that, I was so lazy to go to cell liao...dunno why...I am always slacking...I can escape church and cell for a period as long as 3 months as I did when I was in KL. Lolss....and now I am already in that 'mode'...lazy to go to church and cell unless I have been trusted with some responsibilities.

Supposed to go to Blackpool tmr..but Kyle so blur...he told me last time that he has tickets for free entrance to Blackpool theme park. However, today, he told me tat the ticket has expired and asked me if I could pay for my own entrance fee..but I am not in the mood to go anywhere tmr + am really stressed + dun feel like spending too much money this week. So, told Kyle I didn't want to go anymore...am really not in the mood to do anything..not in the mood becuz of 2 things:
1) kor has just left for good unless he comes back one day...for some purpose..be it hols or further studies???
2)I had just offended TW..and both of us staying under the same roof will gonna make things difficult...I really didn't mean to tell William about it...just that...sigh...

THinking of kor's presence in Leeds can kinda make me sad...well, maybe the reason for not feeling anything much for the past 2 weeks was probably because I am trying very hard not to think of the memories kor has left behind. But today, Kyle reminded me of the rabbit that we microwaved..it was so funny...Laughed for a while after I reminiscence but turned quickly into sorrow...realising that all these left behind are just going to be memories and that he has left Leeds....sigh..make me cry only...

I am feeling pretty stressed about many things though...time flies...one shot I am left with 2 months of hols before the new hectic term starts...sigh..
stressed because I dunno how to tell TW later how sorry I am...he is so pissed off...I am so stress also that I have made someone mad. He has been ignoring ever since... Well, I dun really care anyway...I can cope on my own just that I have no one to share to anymore other than Valerie.

I dun really know Val last time..but since she stayed here, I have kinda got to know her better. She is pretty nice and friendly...also shared quite a lot of things with me in my room...as time flies, she gets better...I mean we get along a lot better liao...

I find it amazin tat my dad is able to find my previous blog and has been reading ever since...I cannot imagine....all the naughty entries that I have wrote...my parents read it all and yet I was left in the dark...sigh..It was pretty good that they managed to hide the secret that they are reading my blog away for so long...I wouldn't have known about it if it wasn't because of my sis who told me...I would still continue to write naughty entries.

My dad read my blog and made a few comments about the similarities we had..

His comment was:
1) very generous
2) heart is too soft
3) Don't know how to save money
4) Buy a lot of things.
5) Like to eat nice food.
6) Adventurous
7) Mix well with anyone
8) trusting
9)Don't know how to say 'no'
10) emotional
11) my dad was very sensitive when he was young and cry easily.

I have to admit that I am an overly sensitive person n how I hate myself for that.
I think too much...always and will never change unless God changes me.
A small matter can be magnified in great amounts all because I think too much.

Sigh..

I am tired and frustrated.

You know what happened this morning...

I woke up at 6am and forgot that work starts at 7.15am and not 6am... + I read the clock wrongly...woke up...switched off the alarm clocks before they disturb Val's sleep. Then, looking at the clock after doing some stuff, I was shocked and rather lolsss when I realised that I have woke up one hour earlier...

I on the radio alarm clock and went back to sleep.

OMG...Who knows, I heard the clock ring at 7am, off it and went back to lie down for a moment which instantly turned into a 40 minutes nap...
Woke up and found that it is 7.35am!! Immediately, I rushed to work..lucky my supervisor didn't scold me...

I guessed I have been lacking sleep for the past 5 days...slept for an average of 4.5 hours a day all because I have been talking to TW every night...from now onwards, since I have made TW mad, I guessed I can afford to sleep earlier liao...11pm as usual...since we have nothing to say to each other anymore.

sien...

Feel like skipping church this sunday....but I need the new hillsong album songs..

signing off,
11.20pm.
sien....how am I going to tell TW how sorry I am? It's so hard to explain to him in words...and may end up sayin the wrong things...bastard...